The Sword of Helheim
by Gsuen
Summary: From: Guildmaster To: All. Would you like to meet again one last time, at the final day? Nothing major planned of course, no quest or raid. Just incessant rambling like how a proper guild should be./ An AU story where Touch Me found himself stranded in the New World.
1. Prologue

Fifteen minutes to midnight.

Masaki Ando was hungry and tired. He spent most of the weeks on night shifts patrolling the less hospitable parts of the city, careful not to flaunt too much of authority. Most of the gangs reside there ignored him and his colleagues, putting a mutual invisible barrier to mind each of own business. He did had to save a hooker from her client beatings yesterday, earning him a kick at his stomach, which promptly paid back with a nasty punch on the nose. That drunkard won't wear his gask mask comfortably today.

But right now all that he wanted was to jump at his bed and hide under its blanket for as long as possible. Tomorrow is his day off, afterall. But he need to take a bath first. His late wife would be livid if she ever found out, at best. She didn't like neither bed reek of sweat or the act of jumping at the bed itself.

Ando turned left to the bathroom when he caught glimpse of blinking notification from a wall-mounted smartscreen. It was a leftover perk from his better days, along with some others: bathtub with running hot water, banana deliveries every Tuesday (paid enough to last another two years), actual bed instead of wornout futon. Small things like that.

The notification was two e-mails from Yggdrassil internal guild messaging system. Yggdrassil. How long ago were those days? Ando sighed, opened the first one addressed to Ainz Ooal Gown members.

_From: Guildmaster_  
_To: All_

_Hey, this is Momonga here. As you guys may or may not know, Yggdrassil will shut down its last servers at Thursday, May 29th 2138, 23:59:59. It's been a long time since the last full gathering. Would you like to meet again one last time, at the final day? Nothing major planned of course, no quest or raid. Just incessant rambling like how a proper guild should be :) It's a good chance to keep up of what each other doing. I'd be forever grateful if you can accept this selfish request._

_Missed you all,_  
_Momonga_

The second one was identical to the first e-mail, but only sent to former members of Nine's Own Goal, or what Nishiki dubbed "The First Nine".

He tapped his finger on the screen. Ainz Ooal Gown, the infamous Yggdrassil guild of heteromorph misfits. Admired by some for its overall strength, hated by more for its "evil" theme, revered by scant few for its PKK practices.

Should he go back?

He gave up on Yggdrassil few years past. It was hard, but necessary. The guild shouldn't share his personal burdens, but there'll be questions if he's still loitering around Helheim or Muspelheim. So he gave up all his game possesions to Momonga, the Guildmaster, froze his account and wrapped up his Dive console...

"OhshitwheredidIputit?" Ando scrambled to the bedroom, reaching out the cardboard boxes above the wardrobe and frantically opening each box. Yeah, he should get back. He honestly surprised that Ainz Ooal Gown still existed. And Momonga was still there. The thought of Momonga alone in Nazarick, waiting for his comrades to celebrate an end...He know what it felt like. Momonga deserves better. They forcefully make him the Guildmaster and the least Ando can do is accompanying Momonga in Yggdrassil final hours.

His Dive console found, Ando is now ready to log in to Yggdrassil for one last time.

###

Five minutes to midnight.

Ando stand before the gates of the outer wall of Nazarick. It was his last location before he froze account. It didn't look familiar to him since he usually just teleport to the main entrance or straight to one of Nazarick ten floors. But he didn't wear his Ring of Ainz Ooal Gown now. Actually, he didn't even wear anything. Butt naked. For his race of choice, clothes or armors is optional. But that is last of his concern.

"Let's see, the guild interface..." His fingers hover above the menu, and then froze.

What should he say to Momonga? To Ulbert & Peroroncino? To other guild members?

He was never good with parting words. Even when he was quitting Yggdrassil, he only spoke to Momonga. As far as other members concerned, he just straight up disappeared. No explanations, no excuses. And now he'll just pop back in and cheerfully announce "Hey guys, look who's back?"?

In his hesitation he didn't notice a shadow passing by far above the walls. He just stood there, unsure of his feelings.

###

23:59:57  
23:59:58  
23:59:59  
00:00:00  
00:00:01  
00:00:02  
00:00:03

###

Ando barely recover from trance when he was roughly tugged into ... some sort of void, for lacks of better words. It almost like the space and time ripped itself into millions of strands and weaving it back together in chaotic order, again and again. It made him want to puke except now he can see his own avatar twisted in impossible manner and keep on twisting. How would you explain seeing a pair of mandible attached to a heart (he hoped it's a heart) perked above left shoulder (he hoped it was actually the left direction)? Now he felt want to die seeing those horrors.

Suddenly the twisting stopped, almost like it never happened in the first place.

"Shitty devs still introducing bugs in final hours", Ando grumbled, still shaken. He didn't notice now it's already over midnight. What he did notice is that the poisonous swamp behind him gone, replaced by boundless grasslands.

"Huh?"

Something's not right here. Maybe he should find Momonga and others and confer of what happened. He tries to jump over Nazarick wall, but the disorientation from the tugging make him stumble over the top stone, and tumbled over tombstones.

Ando tried to stand up and look around. Nazarick Old Guards didn't raise from their tombs as they still register Ando as a guild member instead of an unknown enemy. There was however, a loud shriek heavily ladened with hostility.

"YOU SCUM! HOW DARE YOU FILTHY INSECT TREAD UPON THE SACRED GROUND OF 41 SUPRE-"

The source of that shriek was a little girl above the stairs. She was clad in red blood armor, holding an oversized lance. Her eyes widened as if in shock.

Then she rushed over to Ando, putting a tight embrace on his hip.

"loRdd tOuZhmEEee!"

Shalltear Bloodfallen was in tears.

* * *

Author Note:  
\- Yes, I'm aware that Touch Me deleted his account in the light novel. But I can't write story about him if he can't return to Nazarick, can I?

\- On that matters, many things will deviate even more from the canon story. Part of it is because I may need some wiggling room to expand the story. But most of them will be because I can't recall Overlord facts on the fly and wholly unfamiliar with TTRPG mechanic. Inconsistencies will be abound.

\- Updates will be sparse. I had the rough framework of how the story will progress, but filling in the words and details turn out more difficult than I anticipated. This story is garbage, compared to other more refined fanfictions there. But it's my garbage, and I assure you I planned to keep on piling more of it until I make a decent mound of it.


	2. Chapter 1 - A Stranger in New World

Ando was in total confusion. Not in a million years he could ever imagined seeing an NPC bawling like a child. Shalltear even had snots running down her nose. That kind of action would be beyond Ygdrassil capability, or any kind of computer simulation really. Nevertheless that's what actually happened here. He didn't really sure what to do, but he extended his arm and patted Shalltear's head.

"There, there. Stop crying, Shall-"

A new sensation crawled up Ando's arm. Shaltear's helm, it felt cold. It didn't make any sense. Everybody knew that only sight and hearing senses were allowed by law to be simulated in DMMO-RPG. To simulate touching sense would opened torrents of abuses possibilities and it's legal repercussions. Not even the most black hearted company would touch that can of worm with 10 miles pole.

At least one thing is clear. Ando was no longer in Yggdrassil. So what was this place? It's too real and full of details to be a dream. That cold he felt proved that much. And although Nazarick was here, he discounted the possibility of being in Ygdrassil sequel. The technological and legal limitations wouldn't allow it. The last possibility...

Ando gulped. When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

He felt like his head was spinning.

_Transported to another world? What kind of cosmic joke is this?_

"Touch Me-sama?"

Ando tilted his head at Shalltear. There's still a trace of snots under her nose, but she already stopped crying. They're staring at each other for a while.

He unconciously still patted Shaltear, but now his thoughts distracted by Shalltear, he noticed his arm. His insect-like arm. It took all his concentration to not scream in horror, but Shalltear misinterpreted his stares.

"Ahhhh, I-I'm sorry for o-overstepping my boundary, Touch Me-sama. P-please punish this s-servant of yours" Shalltear jumped back in panic and immediately knelt.

"It's alright Shalltear. Tell me, are other Guild members are present as well?" It felt weird conversing with an NPC. He should find his friends immediately. Maybe they would know what happened.

"No, Touch Me-sama. Herohero was here few days ago for a brief meeting with Momonga-sama, but he departed again. Momonga-sama himself stepped out of Nazarick not long after for unknown business. The Great Tomb of Nazarick itself was suddenly transported to this grassland only several hours ago. We've lost contact with Momonga-sama ever since." Shalltear's took a formal tone as she explained Nazarick situation, although there was a clear undertone that she was also greatly distressed by it. On that account he and Shalltear were not that different.

"Then who's in charge?"

"Albedo, Touch Me-sama."

Ando lost in thought. So Momonga and Herohero should be near Nazarick before the ..void was happening. Would they get transported also? And what's with the jumbled timeline? If Nazarick and himself were transported at the same time, why were they arrived at different time? If the transport were random, it might be even possible that Momonga and Herohero get tugged to an entirely different era. That thoughts somehow made his stomach cramps. He realized that it was only by pure luck that he arrived not long after Nazarick.

Another matters at hand: NPCs now showed some degree of autonomy, but are they still loyal to Guild members? Shalltear seemed do, but knowing Tabula there's gotta be some sort of trap in the Guardian Overseer's settings. He needed to take the risk though. If this is really a different world where Nazarick become a reality, he'd need to be fully equipped (and running around naked is so perverted, even if he's no longer in human body). That means gaining access to the Treasury, and there's no way to get around Albedo to do that.

_Ugh, does Message even still working? Wait, where's my menu?_

There was a sudden rush of information inside Ando's brain. He knew how to activate Message spell. He raised his fingers to where his ears supposed to be, like it was a perfectly normal thing to do.

[Message]

["Albedo"]

["T-this voice...Touch Me-sama?"] He could practically hear gasps on the other side of Message spell.

["Yes, it is me. Could I trouble you to come to Nazarick surface? I need my Ring of Ainz Ooal Gown."]

["R-right away, T-touch Me-sama!"]

_Well, things went fine so far. _

But new concerns keep piling up on Ando. Now he knew Ygdrassil spells is in effect as well, but lacking player menu, there's many vital information that might escape him. But he couldn't stop trying feeling out what this world limitations are.

[Call GM]. Not working.

[Guild Message]. _Oh right, that was in Player Menu_. Not working.

[Skill: Royal Impact]. _Oh shit_. Ando could feel massive strength built up in his fists, ready to pulverize anything or anyone that had the audacity to block his way. He quickly deactivated the skill before he could accidentally unleashed it.

He's still working up whether he can see his own body status when Albedo descended down the entrance stairs of Central Mausoleum, with two other figures followed not far behind. One was a man in a pinstriped suit, his metallic tail swaying behind. Another was a man(?) in military uniform. Well, the figure looks like a man, but to those that unfamiliar there's no way to determine if that egg-shaped face with three black holes in place of eyes and mouth belong to a male.

_Demiurge, Pandora's Actor. _

Ando tried to recall what was their settings. Ulbert cleary created Demiurge as metaphor for evil CEOs, with penchant for inhuman tortures. He only had vague recollection of Pandora Actor's setting, seeing him only at the early stage of its creation. _That military uniform was definitely one of Momonga's interest though._

The trio simultaneously knelt when they're about five steps from Ando and gave him a deep bow. He could hear a tone a relief when Albedo greeted him.

"Touch Me-sama, you've returned" Albedo almost sobbed. Demiurge and Pandora's Actor weren't nearly restrained. Tears flowing down from Demiurge's gem eyes and Pandora Actor's hole eyes.

"I've been told that Momonga was missing?"

"Yes, Touch Me-sama, it has been 12 hours since The Great Tomb of Nazarick was forcefully transported to this place. We've tried everything we can to contact Momonga-sama, even using Master Control in the Throne Room, to no avail."

"And you've been taking control of Nazarick operation?"

Albedo seems like want to buried herself right there. Demiurge chimed in, "Please forgive our brazen acts, Touch Me-sama. When we first noticed that Nazarick has been transported from Helheim, the available Floor Guardians, the Area Guardian of Treasury and the Nazarick Head Butler has agreed that the Overseer is the best one to steer Nazarick in these turbulent time. We are as guilty as Albedo, and we will gladly share her punishment." His head bowed even deeper.

"Ahh, I'm not angry. In fact, I commend you all for taking that decision. It pleases me that you're all doing your best to protect Nazarick." There's no need to antagonized these NPCs.

For the Guardians however, the mercy granted to them was already too much. Even Albedo now wailed openly. Ando can only stand in awkwardness. He pretended to take deep interest in night sky (and what a sky it was! Like a paradise!) as the cries slowly faded. "Anything else you need to report?"

Albedo seemed recovered enough to answer her Master query. "We've raised Nazarick security to DEFCON 1. In effect to that, Gargantua has also been activated. Sebas volunteered to scout around the area. He has taken six of Pleiades with him and routinely sending report every other hour."

Ando nodded in satisfaction. "That will do for now. Pandora's Actor?" There's too much things happened and he need to tackle them one at the time. Top of his priority is now retrieving his gears.

Pandora's Actor was ready for what he was asked for. "Dein Ring, erhabener Meister." Still kneeling, he raised a small box and opened it, presenting a silver ring inside it. The gesture implications wasn't lost on Ando, although he suspected Pandora Actor didn't see anything wrong with it.

_Maybe I should tell him to use a tray next time._

Ando took the ring and wore it. It automatically expanded to accomodate the size of his..finger-claws?

"Shaltear, Demiurge, you may now resume your duties. Albedo, inform Sebas, Cocytus, Aura and Mare to come to The Throne Room in an hour. We will hold further briefing there."

"As you command, Touch Me-sama". The three Guardians bowed in subservience.

Ando turned his gaze to the kneeling Doppelganger. "Come, Pandora's Actor. I need your escort to the Treasury".

####

Ando was always winced whenever he entered the Treasury Hall. It didn't appeal to his neat inclination. Countless gold coin formed up hills in the room, hiding enormous amount of weapons and magic items. They were of course, nothing more than trash. The true valuable ones would be stored further in the Vault. That's where he headed.

"Pandora's Actor."

The Doppelganger nodded, "[Mass Fly]". Ando usually used [Flight Necklace] to traverse the Treasury, but as his inventory now still empty, he'll be dependent at Pandora's Actor to reach the Secret Chamber.

They stopped at a gigantic black door. "And so, thou monopolise the glory of the world, and the darkness shall flee before thee". They passed several corridors before stopping at the entrance of the Secret Chamber.

Pandora's Actor looked half embarassed, half sad. "You must left you ring here, Touch Me-sama. The Mausoleum has several countermeasures to those who still wearing them" as he raised his palm apologetically.

_Oh, this is new. Wait, Mausoleum?_ Ando took off the ring anyway, which Pandora deposited on the nearby pedestal.

That choice of word became apparent as Ando entered the Mausoleum with Pandora's Actor in tow. Two rows of golem lined up the Mausoleum Hall. They all bore likeness of Ainz Ooal Gown members avatars.

"Bukubukuchagama, Punitto Moe, Tabula Smaragdina, ..." His voice trailed off as he walked along the hall. He stopped in front of his own golem statue. He didn't expect his ultimate gear were still in Ainz Ooal Gown possesions. The golem bore his World Champion-class armor [Compliance of Law], his Divine-class sword [Genji Blade], and his Divine-class shield [Earth Recover]. Turning around, he could see every golem were fully equipped with the ultimate weapons and armors of Ainz Ooal Gown members. More than that, he could see hint of tears at Pandora's Actor eye corners.

At this moment, he could understand what Pandora's Actor felt. He was lonely. The denizens of Nazarick were lonely. The disappearance of Momonga when their world become reality must've been affected them greatly. His unexpected return brought such a great relief to them, even the Absolute Evil NPCs like Albedo and Demiurge were reduced to the state of teary children.

Momonga was even lonelier. Judging by the numbers of the golem statues, most of the guild members must've left the game entirely, leaving Momonga to try to maintain the Tomb by himself, with no company except emotionless NPCs. He remembered telling Momonga to sell his World Champion gear, as no one else could equip them anyway. At first when entering this room, he thought that Momonga was his usual hoarder self. But it's not like that. Like Ando, Momonga couldn't just let go of the past. It was stupid, but they can't helped it. That's why he created these golems in the likeness of his friends. At least in the real world, Ando still has colleagues in his department he can roped into a pub crawl. From what he knew, Momonga wasn't that fortunate.

Ando gritted his mandibles. If Momonga, or Herohero, or anyone else from the guild were thrown down to this world as well, he will find them, one way or another. He won't let them alone in this new world. Ando touched the saphire gem in the middle of his armor, sending mental command to it. The armor, sword and shield glimmered briefly before turning into liquid-like substance, slithered down his arm and reformed again around his body. The Paladin of Pure Silver has returned.

Pandora's Actor widened as he looked at Touch Me unsheathing his [Genji Blade]. "We won't need this anymore", declared Ando.

In a blink of an eye, the former Avatara of Touch Me turned into thousand of pieces.

Ando sheathed back his sword, and turned to Pandora's Actor. "I am here".

Pandora's Actor knelt down in reverence, and shouted in a mix of happy anguish, "Glory to Ainz Ooal Gown."

* * *

AN:

Oh please, "self depicted"? Really.  
I'd rather like to hear that sort of criticism from people who didn't depict their OCs having a hot smoldering sex with a well-endowed succubus, thank you very much


	3. Chapter 2 - Come Out and Play

Cocytus was the last to enter the Throne Room. He wasted no second to voice his question.

"Is. It. True. Albedo? Touch. Me. Sama. Has. Returned?"

Albedo solemnly nodded, "Indeed, Cocytus. Right now he's with Pandora's Actor in the Treasury. He'll come any moment now".

Although the order was to convene for another hour, every Floor Guardians has already assembled in the Throne Room. Of course they were eager to meet Touch Me. After the transportation of Nazarick and the disappearance of Momonga, the tomb could have easily fallen to disarray, or worse. Cocytus shuddered imagining that possibility. It was most fortunate that the Supreme Beings bestowed them the miracle of Touch Me return.

Even so, Cocytus could still detected faint somber feeling behind the joyous faces of his fellow Floor Guardians. He felt the same himself. Everyone asking themselves the same question in their hearts. Why weren't their own Creators that returned. Nobody would voiced that out loud, since even thinking about it itself was already a blasphemy. He glanced at Sebas, feeling a bit envy at the inscrutable butler. Cocytus shaked his head in attempt to clear that thoughts. Everything will be okay. Touch Me is now with them. All he needed to do is doing his best to serve the Supreme Being.

They waited in silence, each occupied with their own thoughts.

#####

The grand door of Throne Room opened. The Floor Guardians gasped in awe of the glorious sight in front of them. Touch Me stepped firmly towards the throne, fully cladded in his World Champion armor. In his left hand was the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown.

The Floor Guardians has been asking Pandora's Actor to secure the Guild Weapon in the Treasury at the earliest time they found out that Nazarick has been transported. The reasoning was that the staff is the very core of Nazarick itself, thus its security was their top priority. The Doppelganger vehemently refused, claiming that he wasn't authorized to touch the staff, much less moving it. Since the Supreme Beings decided it was the best place to store the staff, who was him to challenge their wisdoms? Also, anywhere at Ninth and Tenth Floors were as properly secured as the Treasury; any hostile party would need to get through eight floors of Nazarik's spawns and traps. Especially the Eighth Floor, should by freak accident it got breached, then it didn't matter where the staff is stored, it'd be a lost cause anyway. After lengthy debate, they agreed Pandora's Actor assesment and considered the matter closed.

To see the staff in Touch Me's hand brought a certainty in each Floor Guardians's hearts. It means the staff and Nazarick itself already recognized Touch Me as its new leader. The Floor Guardians kneeled as Touch Me stepped up the dais and sat on the throne. Pandora's Actor lined up with his comrades and also kneeled. Their hand pressed upon their chests, their head lowered. A proper protocol must be observed afterall.

"Shalltear Bloodfallen, Guardian of the First, Second, and Third Floors, presents herself to the Master".

"Cocytus. Floor. Guardian. Of. Fifth. Floors. Presents. Himself. To. The. Master".

"Aura Bella Fiora, Floor Guardian of Sixth Floor, presents herself to the Master".

"M-Mare Bello Fiore, also Floor Guardian of S-sixth floor, presents himself to the Master".

"Demiurge, Floor Guardian of Seventh floor, presents himself to the Master".

"Pandora's Actor, Area Guardian of the Treasury, presents himself to the Master".

"Sebas Tian, Head Butler of Nazarick and Leader of Pleiades, presents himself to the Master".

"Albedo, Guardian Overseer of Nazarick, presents herself to the Master. We are yours to command".

"We pledge our utmost loyalty to the Master!"

####

A dragon steak and ambrosia to wash it down. Ando wanted to laugh at the absurdity of his breakfast.

_What's this, a feast of gods?_

It's been some days after the transport. Things have calmed down a little since then. Although nothing in his life could prepared him to managing living NPCs, seeing them pledged their loyalties means one less worry crossed off the list. Albedo has given a thorough report of Nazarick status, supplemented with Sebas reconnaissance result. Demiurge has recommended to conceal Nazarick with earthen walls surrounded by dummy hills with illusion spells to cover view from air, which Mare completed splendidly. As far as any happenstance passersby concerned, they'd see nothing but grassy hills. By then Ando has ordered the security decreased to medium readiness. Vigilance was upheld but not putting too much strain on system.

Meanwhile the situation with the perishable resources was good if not excellent. Several of his guild mates had hoarding tendencies, with Momonga as exemplary model. As a result, the Treasury had been enlarged several times in his absence to cope with the overflow of even every single trash items Ygdrasssil ever provided. Considering the possibility they might no longer could farming monsters for loots, it was godsends. Pandora's Actor has provided him the preliminary supplies list, which Ando's can only sighed at.

_Why would they keep storing enough Minor Healing Potions to last until Rapture cometh? It was nothing more than few pixels wide HP recover for bunch of level 100's! Wait, in Nordic mythology that would be Ragnarok instead, wasn't it?_

He won't complain about the abundance of dragon meats though.

Ando pushed back the plates. The maid standing by, Seventh, methodically cleared up the table and brought the dishes away.

"What are your plans for today, Touch Me-sama?"

He glanced at Sebas Tian. He was the NPC Ando created based on a certain manga he read when he was a teenager, but with facial feature of Ando's own face, if he was 30 years older with graying hairs and beards. It was a harmless self-depreciating joke when it was just a game, but now that Sebas turned into a fully living clone, he can't help but cringed.

_What were I thinking back then?_

Ando pulled out [Mirror of Remote Viewing] from his inventory.

"Nothing much, Sebas. I suppose I'll pick up where I left yesterday."

In fact, there's really nothing much for Ando to do. The NPCs had kept Nazarick organizational gears rolling without hitch, and he wasn't keen to meddle with it. He had a spar with Cocytus, Aura and Mare to refresh his combat flow and visited Aureole to make certain arrangements, but most of the time he was inside his room doing his own reconnasissance. His subordinates were still apprehensive about him stepping away from the tomb even with full guards. Ando could have just said "This is an order", but he felt he shouldn't induced more stress to them.

Ando lazily waved his hand at the mirror. So far he hadn't has any luck finding any humans, sentient beings or any monsters at all. Nothing but grassy plains and forests. Until the scene changed to several blurry figures at the edge of forest. Ando zoomed in, and what he saw made his blood boiled.

He was about to cast [Greater Teleportation] when Sebas interrupted.

"Touch Me-sama! Please, be prudent!"

For Sebas, even though his creator is the physical embodiment of justice itself, he can't just let his creater goes alone even in pursuit of noble purpose. Who knows what wicked threats are hidden in this unknown world? Sebas would gladly abandon any lesser creatures to their fate in exchange of his creator safety.

"...Fine. Have Albedo join me fully armed posthaste. Tell Aura to gather several subordinates with invisibility skill and form a perimeter around us."

"And about Nazarick security?"

"Tell Albedo to raise it to DEFCON 4 for the moment. Demiurge will assume command while I and Albedo away." Ando said with a tone implying the end of conversation, and he casted [Greater Teleportation], linking the destination coordinates with the [Mirror of Remote Viewing].

####

The goblin soldier was already at the last stretch of his stamina. Their leader had decided the instance they were summoned that the wisest path is to retreat immediately. Their summoner however, begged them to save as many villagers as they could.

That was unnecessary. If she ordered them to jump into hellfire, then that's what they'll do. So aside of two goblin soldiers to escort their summoner and her sister away, the rest of the goblin troops charged into the hopeless battle.

Unfortunately, some knights spotted them and made pursuit. In the ensuing fight the goblins managed to injured several knights, but the numerical disadvantage was hard to overcome. His comrade was killed, leaving only him to act as shield between their summoner and the persistent knights.

_Ahh, at least we're fortunate to have a kind master_. The goblin could hear their summoner and her sister cried in despair for him as the knight raised his sword. He didn't have any strength left to block the incoming slash.

CLANG.

The sword never hacked into its target. Instead there was a radiant silver shield protecting the goblin from certain death. He glanced upward and met the the gaze of the shield owner. What he saw was a paladin in silver armor that radiate strength of physical god.

"You've done your best. Now leave the rest to me" the paladin said to him in calming tone. The pursuing knights however shrieked in fear as their fellow knight's head decapitated. Nobody saw the slash, but the paladin's sword already unsheathed as their comrade's headless body slumped to the ground.

None of the knights saw a black knight suddenly appeared behind them, but they soon found out as the paladin coldly state his order, "Albedo, send these false knights to hell."

The goblin soldier dropped to ground as he saw the fight, no, the massacre took place in front of him. As horrifying sight that might be, right now he only cared about one thing.

_We're saved_.

* * *

AN: The next chapter will be titled "Gunter glieben glauten globen"


	4. Chapter 3 - Justice Has Come

His order was easy: take some knights to raid some Re-Estize frontier villages, kill some villagers, burned it to a crisp, then move on to the next target. He didn't even need to worry about any Re-Estize patrol interfering. The "spook", one of the rumored Cardinals secret units, would take care of it. All in all, it's been a pretty good week for Captain Belius. He even had spare time to get taste some of "local delicacies". They weren't up to the standard of Kami Miyako underground brot...massage houses, but for exchange they were free of charge. Dead women would need no money afterall.

The only thing that he didn't like was few of his men dared to stand up between him and his entertainment. So what if it wasn't the order they had? As the leader, he had the discretion to improvise. Even more, as member of upper class, he should get to enjoy the entailing priveleges. The men were just envious of his position. He'll make sure once they returned to capital, those ungrateful bastards will be transferred to southern desert border posts. Starting with that goodie-two-shoe Londes.

He was about to "eat the appetizer" when suddenly a sword went down against his neck. Thank the Six that his bodyguards were quick to block it. What he saw was filthy creatures that every Slane Theocracy soldiers required to kill on sight. Demihumans, or in this case, goblins. Belius angrily barked his orders.

"Men! Goblin attacks! Kill these disgusting goblins! Butcher them!"

Belius of course didn't raise his sword himself. His job was only to shout orders. It's up to his men to kill these goblins, or in unfortunate events to serve as Belius's shield. He's too important to die in this backwater village.

####

"You're hurt."

"Huh?"

Enri Emmot was still in shock. The knights that pursued them and kill one of the goblins has been killed swiftly. She didn't notice that she's been wounded before the flight to the forest, that blood flooding rapidly from her stomach. As she held up his right hand, she almost fainted seeing the copious amount of blood smeared on it. She fell on her back, and her breath was unsteady.

"Nee-chan!"

"General Enri!"

Enri resigned to her fate. Her parents already sacrificed their life so she and Nemu can escape and keep living. Now that the paladin and the black knight come and save them, she was content that no harm will come to her sister. As her conciousness faded away...

"[Mass Cure Lesser Wounds]."

Enri blinked in confusion, but she was fully conscious as the goblin gently raised her back up. She sat down, slowly feeling her stomach with her hand and surprised at what she felt. The fatal wound was no longer there, almost like it wasn't there at the first place. As she glanced on her sister and the goblin, she also noticed their wounds were fully healed, not even a trace of scratch.

She gazed up as the paladin lowered down his palm, and Enri realized that this paladin, no, their savior had used magic to restore them to full health.

"Time is of essence. Goblin, I trust you're willing to protect these girls once more?"

"We live to serve General Enri, even if we must throw down our life," the goblin nodded with renewal eagerness.

"Very good. You stay here. I will save the other villagers."

The paladin and the black knight turned around and begin heading to the village. Enri knew she shouldn't delay them even for a moment, but she could't stop forcing herself stood up with a stagger, and asked...

"W-who are you?"

The paladin glanced back at them, and answered in tone that Enri thought must be only reserved for the most noble knight.

"I am Touch Me, the Paladin of Pure Silver." And with that, the paladin and the blacknight sprinted to the direction of the village.

"T-Tashimi-sama..." There's only reverence in the eyes of the two human and a goblin.

####

Things went to hell.

At first the knights had advantage since their number were larger than the goblins, even if the goblins somehow adequately equipped and quite skilled. The gap widened as the knights killed three of the goblins, giving them more room for pressure. The knights now has encircled the rest of the goblins, looking for chances to whittle the numbers further. Meanwhile Belius was busy whacking his sword at the corpse of a goblin. Let it be known that Captain Belius has dilligently fulfilled his duties. The easy credit would be a nice addition to his promotion sheet.

He was moving on the second goblin corpse when one of his men jumped at him. Belius ducked, barely evaded the knight sword. To say that Belius was furious was an understatement.

"You cunt! Mutiny is puni-"

Belius shivered. He was wrong, the knight didn't jump at him. Instead what happen was the knight's upper body was hurtled at Belius direction, smashed against a wall. Belius forced his gaze away from the blood and entrails that slide down the wall. What he saw on the hopposite direction made him queasy. A black knight was holding a large axe, in front of him lay the lower half of Belius knight still splurting blood. The rest of the knights and the goblins stared in shock as they heard a feminine voice.

"This human is as brittle as the one in the forest, Touch Me-sama." _That brute black knight is a woman?_

"Be careful not to hurt the villagers and the goblins. They're not the enemy."

What followed was the worst nightmare Belius ever known. His men were offed one by one with no chance to fight back. Several lost their nerves and decided to ran away but the black knight blocked their escape path with such glee one might think she's on her way to pick some flowers. And sure did the flowers picked, in form of red mist blooming from exploded heads or smashed chests. Even Londes was slashed vertically like a butter split by a hot knife.

Belius wanted to ran, but his legs were too weak from seeing the horror and unfolded. He fell to his knee as he saw a paladin approached him. His bladder was emptied rather quickly.

"You're the leader of this false knights?", the paladin asked in a cold dispassionate manner.

"P-please, m-mercy. I don't w-want to die." Belius never know before that his eyes could produce so much tears.

"Did you spare any mercy to those villagers?"

"B-but..." Belius was utterly scared. This paladin sounds like a judge about to..._Ah yes, that's it_. "Gold! I'll give y-you any gold you w-"

Belius never finished his plead. A kick from the paladin boot to his head had rendered that attempt futile.

####

"In behalf of this village, please allow me to convey our thanks. If not for Tashimi-sama aid, we would all be dead by now."

Ando was talking to the Village Chief at the village square. A rather toned old man, he's the first one approaching Ando after the knights threat no longer exist. He kept his distance from Albedo though, which was understandable. For example, nobody would want to get near a bull that had gored several people in Encierro, but you will feel safe in the presence of a local priest. It was this manner that convinced Ando that this Chief wasn't an NPC programmed to congratulate a finished quest, but a living human being, in a grief from the loss of half of his villagers.

_So we are in a different world. Although, what's with "Tashimi-sama"? Even if we somehow magically could talk to each other despite the obvious different languages, is it that hard to pronounce "Touch Me"? Well, it's fine. I don't want to be perceived as a pervert in this world._

"To save the weak is a common sense. I only did what a paladin expected to do. I only regret that I didn't come any sooner."

"No, we are truly grateful that Tashimi-sama came to our aid. Although we were quite scared when the goblins came."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, most goblins would attack human settlement if they had their chance. But I suppose people as strong as Tashimi-sama can command them to protect humans."

_Huh?_

"Wait, Chief. These goblins aren't my subordinates..."

The Chief's eyes show alarm. "But who..."

A small group approached Ando and Chief from the forest. They were two girls surrounded by several goblins. Ando mental brows furrowed. These goblins looked suspiciously like the one in Yggdrassil.

"Enri, Nemu, you're safe!"

"Chief, you as well! It was thanks to Tashimi-sama and these goblins." This girl called Enri nodded to Ando, but Ando's attention focused at the little sister.

_Mizuki would've been the same age as her_. Ando quickly cleared his head from the painful memory.

His attention shifted to the largest goblin that stepped forward and nodded to Ando, "We Goblin Troops also thank you, Tashimi-sama, for saving General Enri, Nemu and our life." The rest of the goblin nodded as well.

"It's my duty. Although, I'm curious. Why do you goblins keep calling her General Enri? From what Chief told me, humans and goblins... rarely get along in this area."

"Well it's because it was General Enri that summoned us, so she is our master now."

"Summon?" Ando turned to Enri.

"Yes, before our father was killed...he threw a horn at me and tell me to blow it if I can't escape danger. When I did it, these goblins suddenly appeared and asked me for orders."

_Ahh, that explain it_. "I'm sorry for your loss. Still I must ask, is this horn in a size of finger, white in color, and strapped with a brown leather strand?"

"Yes, that's exactly it!"

"And where did your father get it?"

"I don't really know. It has been a family heirloom for several generations."

_So it really was a [Horn of Goblin General]. Since no item from Nazarick should circulate beyond its walls, this Yggdrassil item must had come from different source. Maybe Enri's predecessors get it from one of Ainz Ooal Gown members. And since they all heteromorph, they might still around today._

Ando of course knew this best case would be a slim chance. Most likely, the horn would come from another players, and since the reputation of Ainz Ooal Gown was very well-known, Ando should expect more for the possibility of hostile players.

"I see. Thank you for your information, Miss En-"

"Leader!"

The shout came from a Goblin Rider that previously scouted outside the village. He seems distressed as he quickly approached the group. The wolf he rode skidded in front of the group, and he made a report to their leader.

"A group of warriors rode fast toward this village. By my estimates, they were as strong as the previous group of knights."

* * *

AN: I'm half tempted to scrap all the built up and just write the one scene that was the sole reason of writing this AU story. Well, just need to write word upon word I suppose.


	5. Chapter 4 - Curbstomp

"Touch Me-sama...", Albedo whispered.

"Just use "Tashimi" when we're in presence of outsiders, Albedo. What would you want to talk?"

"Yes, Tashimi-sama. Aura just sent a Message. She apologized for taking so long, but the perimeter has been completed, and ready to ambush these ruffians."

"Ah well, it's not her fault we finished up too quickly. Tell her to keep standby, we'll see how the situation play out first."

Ando, Albedo, the Village Chief, Enri and the Goblin Troop were standing by at the village's square to intercept the unknown newcomers. It was a surprise that Enri asked to stay with them. At first the goblins only proposed they stay at the square, as a show of force to deter the incoming warriors while the surviving villagers take shelter and prepare to flee should it came to worse. They didn't expect that their master to stubbornly held the ground alongside them. It's only because of Ando's reassurance that they relented to Enri's will.

The mounted warriors finally entered their field of sight while Albedo continued her report in hushed whisper.

"She also reported there's a group of magic casters trailing behind. She wasn't sure if they're of the same side."

"...Interesting. So it wasn't simple as it seemed. Tell Aura to let them through, but keep herself and her subordinates hidden."

#####

Gazef Stronoff reined his horse as he and his men approached the strange groups at the center of the village. A paladin and a black knight in this frontier village so far away from major city might be somewhat plausible, but he certainly didn't expect to be welcomed by goblins armed to the teeth with proper weapons. He cautiously direct his horse to the old man who he surmised is the village chief.

"I am the Warrior-Captain of the Re-Estize Kingdom, Gazef Stronoff. By order of the King, I have been visiting each of the frontier villages to exterminate knights from enemy countries who have been making trouble here."

"It's good that you come, Warrior-Captain. I am Galvan Lang, the chief of this Carne Village. As you said, a group of knights attacked our village just a while ago. But thanks to Tashimi-sama, our life are saved.", The Chief gestured at the silver white paladin.

Gazef quickly mounted his horses and bowed to this Tashimi-sama, "My thanks to you Tashimi-dono, for saving this village. To think that I have made a strangers did what should have been our job, I am ashamed."

"Please raise your head, Gazef-dono. I only did what my duties obliged me."

"Nevertheless, I am grateful for your help. And these people are?"

"This black knight is my subordinate. And this girl..."

"A-ano, I'm Enri Emmot. These are my goblins."

His men were shocked to hear the girl statement, but Gazef maintained his stern face. This world was quite a big place after all. He knew of an old woman that could control several undeads at once. It wouldn't be strange if there's a magic that could let someone control demihumans by their will.

_Although to control this many goblins at her age, she must be having a very potent Talent_.

Gazef nodded to the girl and goblins, and asked Tashimi, "So what happened to the knights?"

"We killed all fifty of them."

Now even Gazef was shocked. His warrior band might put a decent fight against those number, but this paladin nonchalantly claimed they simply exterminated all the knight with just...thirteen capable fighters on their side. Gazef glanced at the surrounding, he could see several heavily mutilated corpses of knights. He had feeling that most of them fell to the weapons of these paladin and black knight.

_These people are strong, very strong_. Gazef inwardly shivered.

"Also, I've been meaning to ask, do you expect a company, Gazef-dono?"

"I beg your pardon, Tashimi-dono?"

To his counter query, the paladin simply pointed at the direction of Gazef's back. What he saw made him worried.

####

From his vantage point, Gazef could clearly see line of magic casters at the hills nearby, slowly advanced toward Carne village. Their identities were obvious. After all, only Slane Thocracy could marshalled that large number of magic casters capable summoning angels.

Gazef considered his options. He only had just a bit more than half of his men left, having ordered several them to escort survivors from the previous villages they visited to the nearest major city, E-Rantel. Even if he still had his original numbers, he wasn't sure they'd survive the forecoming battle with just minor losses. His warrior band mostly were mostly physical fighters with only few had experiences dealing with magic casters.

"They really goes all out just to get you, huh?"

The paladin was right. Judging from the number of knights remains, the enemy strategies must be slowly bleeding Gazef's warrior band numbers, then caught him in a pincer attack. If there's a silver lining, it's that Gazef no longer need to worry about the knights.

"When the King entrusted me to take this title, I didn't know I'd have international fans chasing me all over the country."

"Of which surely many warriors would be jealous of you."

"I only wished they would only asked for signature though, not my neck."

Gazef faced Tashimi, "I'll be blunt, Tashimi-dono. My warrior band are undermanned and underequipped for this battle. Can I hire you as mercenary?"

"I refuse."

"May I ask the reason why?"

"I saved the villagers because they are weak. But you Gazef-dono, you are strong."

Gazef didn't expect this answer. He thought that the paladin might refuse on the basis of avoiding political problem given his profession. Who knew the reasoning was absurdly simple. For a moment Gazef felt he peeked a little bit into Tashimi's character, and he found himself respected the paladin position.

"Well, then I suppose nothing could be done. I bid you farewell, Tashimi-dono. May we meet in more fortunate circumstance." Gazef gave Tashimi a weak smile and offered his hand.

"You're not going to hire the goblins, Gazef-dono?", Tashimi shaked his hand briefly.

Gazef went and mounted his horse, "I'm tempted, but the enemies are one of the Slane Theocracy's Scripture, they'd be more vicious if they see the goblins." It's one thing to have Tashimi's help, but eleven goblins wasn't many enough to tip the strength scale. If that was the case, it'd be better if Gazef draw the enemy as far as possible from the village so it's villagers will have headstart to flee. "It presumptous of me to ask this, Tashimi-dono. But I beg you, please protect this village if the enemies turned their eyes this way."

"That, I can accept. I wish you luck, Gazef-dono."

####

Ando sighed. Gazef clearly he knew would die should he fight, but he didn't choose to run. That's why Ando can't help to be a bit envious. In Yggdrassil he always proclaimed his cause of justice, because it's the only place he could proudly held his ideal. In the real world he had no choice but to conform to the rules and laws, no matter how unfair those might be. The captain however held his ideal steadfastly, even in front of imminent death.

"Let's go, Albedo. We might gathered some useful information in that battle." Ando clenched his fist. In this new world, he was strong enough to enforce his justice.

####

Nigun Grid Luin was elated. The plan had a bump with the knights unexpectedly didn't show up for pincer attack, but here was Gazef Stronoff toyed by the horde of angels. He had the "secret weapon", but now he felt the Cardinal ovestimated Gazef too much. Still, he's annoyed that Gazef was obstinate enough to not die yet from his accumulated injuries. The Kingdom's finest already used several martial arts consecutively, beyond what a normal warrior could do. What a shame. If Gazef were born in the Theocracy, there's no doubt he would've been a great addition to the Scriptures, maybe offered a position in the Black Scripture.

But as ordered, Gazef would need to die now. Theocracy didn't need an obstructing thorn in their plans.

"Enough with the futile resistance, Gazef Stronoff. Sunlight Scripture, send the angels and kill him."

Several angels moved toward Gazef, their swords of light only feets away before impaling Gazef's body, when suddenly something fell form the sky, resulting an explosion. As the dust slowly settled, Nigun could see a silhouette of black knight raised slowly with a large bardiche in his hand, while the angels they sent dissipated into dust of light. Another figure descended slowly toward Gazef.

"T-Tashimi-d-dono.."

"Settle down, Warrior-Captain. You and your men are severely injured. You're no longer in a condition to fight. Aura!"

"Yes, Master!"

Now there's a child, no, a dark elf child, riding a giant wolf, suddenly appeared of nowhere, accompanied by several weird creatures which Nigun could only described as large hedgehog with the size of a goat.

"Take the Captain and his men back to the village, and ask for Miss Enri Emmot to help heal them, one of her subordinate should have the necessary spell. Come join us afterward."

"By your will, Master!"

"I bid you farewell, Gazef-dono. May we meet in more fortunate circumstance."

The dark elf effortlessly hauled Gazef onto the wolf's back, while the hedgehog's scurried to collect Gazef's men. In a flash, they're already gone, and Nigun finally found his voice back.

"Y-you! Who are you dare to meddle in Theocracy's affair! You're paladin from Roble Kingdom, huh? And that elf! Is the Roble Kingdom has fallen so low to allly themself with the Elf Kingdom?"

"Who I am is of no concern of you, but I am concerned of who you are. Tell me, those knights that raided the village, was it you that sent them?"

"That's right. They were bait, to weaken Gazef Stronoff, and herd him to the place where we wanted him to be."

"All that innocent villagers!?"

"They should be grateful their insignificant life were put to serve the Six God's wills!"

####

_Crazy religious fanatics_, Ando murmured in his heart. They reminded him of Shin Aum Shinrikyo case several years ago.

Meanwhile the magic casters already summoned a fresh batch of angels and sent them to Ando and Albedo.

"Really, you thought repeating the same action will yield a different result?"

Albedo took her master words as her cue to attack. She stepped forward, swung her bardiche in a large arc, a greenish afterlight traced a curve in the air.

Over forty angels vanished just like that.

You could hear the pin dropped.

And then the rage erupted.

"Impossible! Impossible! To defeat angels with one attack! It must be illusion! Yes, that must be it!"

"Say what you want, it won't change the reality."

"Gahh! Principality of Observation! Kill these people!"

"Albedo, stand back."

Ando unsheathed his sword. He waited until the angel close enough and fully winded its arm to swing its mace, and jumped to make a counter attack of his own.

"[Skill: Dark Slash]."

His sword covered with black flame, swung in horizontal plane at the angel's head. It was a one hit kill. The angel crashed to the ground and vanished, leaving no trace.

The enemies now was in utter panic.

"S-scriptures! Buy me some time! I will summon angel of the highest tier!"

"Y-yes."

"[Charm Person], [Iron Hammer of Righteousness], [Hold], [Fire Rain], [Emerald Sarcophagus], [Holy Ray], [Shockwave], [Confusion] , [Charge of Stalagmite], [Open Wounds], [Poison], [Fear], [Word of Curse], [Blindness]..."

Albedo quickly took position in front of Ando, shielding him from the rain of spells, even though that was unnecessary in the first place.

_So just not items and summons, Yggdrassil magics also trickled to this world. But why they only use 1st and 2nd tier spells? If they ever thought to use [Scan Enemy], they should know 7th tier is the minimum to deal with us...They can't be that weak._

Ando gaze shifted to the leader. He seemed holding a familiar looking crystal.

"Tashimi-sama, that's..."

"Yes, a sealing crystal capable of holding spell up to the 10th tier. If what he said is true, we might be dealing with a Seraph-class angel. Albedo, activate your defensive skills. I'll prepare [World Breaker]."

Albedo gasped in surprise that her master was going to use his ultimate skill, but activated her skill nonetheless. [World Breaker] was a skill only granted to those that hold the World Champion class. In Yggdrassil, it took a form of an ethereal gigantic sword, fifty meters at length, that can be set either to target a single enemy or inflicting a wide AOE damage. It was said that only World Enemy monsters can survive the attack. From tactical standpoint, Albedo guessed her master wanted to finished the battle as fast as possible, even if he was left vulnerable during the charging time. Well, a tank like Albedo was useful to cover that glaring gap.

Ando held [Genji Blade] with both hands high above his head. He'd need to wait ten seconds to activate the skill. He felt something around him shuddered, but he paid it no mind. At the same time, the enemy leader broke the crystal in his hand.

A gigantic angel descended from heaven, bathed in divine light.

"Behold! Witness the glorious visage of God's highest servant, the Dominion of Authority!"

In response, Ando can only laughed in disbelief. He quickly canceled the skill's activation and lowered his sword.

"This is your trump card? Ahh, I should have known better. Albedo, I'll handle this."

"Y-you heretic! This is the angel of the highest order, capable of defeating a Demon God! You better surren-"

"[Skill: Dimensional Slash]."

Ando swung his sword several times. For an observer, he might looked like slashing at the empty air. But at the same time, several otherworldly scars formed all over the angel body. It almost like Ando carved tears to the space-time itself.

The angel didn't last two seconds.

"That's all you got?"

"T-the strongest angel, defeated just like that!?"

"H-hiee! Run! Run!"

Ando of course didn't let them. "Shadow Demons, don't let a single one of them run away. But don't kill them." Several humanoid creatures jumped up from the surrounding shadows. These were the subordinates Aura brought to secure the perimeter. They moved quickly to ran after the fleeing enemy and rendered them unconcious.

####

Aura dismounted Fenrir and knelt, "I have completed your order, Touch Me-sama. The humans are recuperating at the the village now."

"Good job, Aura. You may raise."

"If I may ask, Touch Me-sama, why don't we just kill these humans?", Albedo asked, glancing at the fainted enemies, their bodies stacked one above others.

_Hahh, their evil nature really are a headache to deal with. I need to put a tight rein, or they might wreck irreparable havocs in this world._

"We severely lacking informations of this world, Albedo, and I find these people a potential source of information. Well, I could have asked the Warrior-Captain since it seemed he's on a high-placed rank at his nation, but it's better that he owed us a favor."

"I see. As expected of Touch Me-sama.", Albedo bowed.

_Err, it should be okay to indulge them a little._

"But you kow, I'm a firm believer of 'Pay evil unto evil'. After Neuronist done extracting all the informations we might need, you can send them to Demiurge. Do whatever you want with these prisoners, as long as they're kept alive".

Albedo mouth widened to a sadistic smile. "It shall be done, Touch Me-sama."

_Uh-oh, maybe I've gone too far? At least Aura isn't as enthusiastic as Albedo._

"[Message]"

"["Shalltear, open a Gate from our location to Nazarick. We're bringing back a large haul."]"

* * *

AN: I bought a new kettle.


End file.
